The Tolerance Project Archive

The four of us were supposed to go this weekend for the surprise retirement party of my high school journalism teacher, leaving Sat am and coming back Sunday afternoon (my parents live there). A bunch of stuff has come up that makes it ridiculous for my husband to come with -- he has a ton of work to do and it would be great to give him a break and just let him focus, which he (of course) rarely gets to do. But I'm a bit trepidacious about the drive -- normally, I spend most of these road trips turning around and picking up dropped food, sippys, books, toys, etc.

I know there are single parents of twins on this list, and I am so deeply admiring of them, always....this trip is highly discretionary. I just keep going back and forth in my head re whether it's worth it, and how bad it is likely to be, whether the kids will get that there's only one grownup so they have to be better behaved, hold onto their stuff, etc, etc. (my son might sleep some in the car, but my daughter, not so much, so driving during nap/sleep times is not the solution).I realize that I ultimately just have to decide, but would love any advice/input/suggestions/thoughts.....

I drove from Amherst MA to NYC with our guys when they were 15 months. I just
planned it to leave during their naptime...they napped for a long time and then
I had bottles and snacks ready when they woke up. Oh, and pacifiers. Had no
problems at all. Best of luck!

I did this with trepidation to DC with my 2.5 yr old twins and a 4 year old - I was terrified but decided that if I had to stop it would not be at a rest stop but at a single restaurant for fear fo losing the kids. I gave each kid a snack bag and water and went straight through, not even stopping for a bathroom break _ all were potty trained at the time. It was fine and I went the following year as well. Funny I am probably doing it again alone in a few weeks - they are 8 and 10 and I am just as trepiditious though of course for other reasons. I was so happy that I bit the bullet and did it - my kids were older so it might have been easier and the older singleton could help out a bit.

Re: ISO crib soother(s) & mirror(s)

Not willing to sell it, but the fisher price aquarium crib soother is awesome!
Here is a link HYPERLINK "http://www.fisher-price.com/us/ms6/crib-toys.asp" http://www.fisher-price.com/us/ms6/crib-toys.asp

I second that. We have the aquarium soother and the newer, more expensive
Rainforest "waterfall" soother with lots of extra features -- the aquarium is
soothier.
Re: Tomorrow Marine Park?

So they are predicting thunderstorms throughout the day tomorrow, tho mainly in the am.
should we still meet?

Re: lab recommendations

Hi, please avoid the Quest Lab on E 14th Street and Kings Highway at all cost.
We had a nightmare experience earlier this year. Long story short, I dragged two
kids from Room 1, 2, 3 and back to Room 1 with three different techs to finally
have it done. I ended up writing a two full page complaint letter to the CEO and
filed a complaint via their online survey. Yes, I got apology phone calls and
letters but it was my kids who suffered the pain. Please ask for the tech who
has the most experience with pediatric bloodwork to do the job. If you smell
that the person in front of you is not the right one who can perform the task,
pick up your kids and leave right away and request someone who can actually do
it. That is what I should have done to prevent the entire frustrating
experience. Good luck.

Re: Tomorrow’s Prospect Park meetup

The forecast is for morning thunderstorms tomorrow (Friday). With all the rain
and tomorrow's forecast, I think it's best that we cancel tomorrow's meetup.

One day we'll actually have some sunny weather and will be able to meetup.

Re: Recommendations for accommodations?

Does anyone have suggestions for how to go about looking for vacation
accommodations with our twins? They're 10 months old so we would like to have
something like a junior suite where there are two rooms (otherwise, of course,
once they go to bed, our evening is shot..)
>
> We're just looking for something in the area, maybe Jersey shore or upstate,
which wouldn't involve much driving... we're really not picky about the type of
accommodations - could be a rental place or a "comfort inn" or anything of the
sort... Is there a good website to use? Any recommendations would be greatly
welcomed :)

We've gone on several vacations through VRBO.com - vacation rentals by owner-
and stayed in condos or private houses with lots of space (and a kitchen, too!).
There are a lot of choices for anywhere in the country and beyond, the website
is easy to use and since you don't have to pay the middle man, the rates are
quite reasonable.

Re: Blankets and bottles

Hi everyone--
thanks for the advice earlier. a couple of really dumb questions...
I never got around to giving my kids blankets once they started
moving around in the crib. Now, I can't for the life of me figure
out the purpose of a blanket in a crib for them, other than another
snuggly thing. I think Max would love one. Do you tuck it aruond
them? just put it in? Do they ever wrap themselves in it?

on a different front, they are beginning at night to have a bottle
rebellion. They don't want their bottles but they won't take their
sippy cups. I know I'm supposed to move them off bottles very soon,
but not sure what to do if they won't take their last bottle. I read
the earlier posts about sippys but just wondering if they are likely
to wake up if they don't take their last bottle...

I actually use the blankets like to keep them warm... If I myself would use one to sleep then I give them one. They often need to be recovered once or end up like burritos by moening, but don't seem to mind.
My kids sometimes reject the nighttime bottle too, but once they are drinking cows milkb its notthat important for filling them,so I just give a bit more during the day, and if they don't want it, its not a crisis. They are getting full from solids at this point, but ask your ped.

Re: Blueberry picking

HYPERLINK "http://www.terhuneorchards.com/" http://www.terhuneorchards.com/ - it's near Princeton and was amazing - we had a blast and the blueberries were to die for...

they have lots of other fun stuff, too - a great day to have outside the city.

Re: free stuff

1 boppy nursing pillow

2 Prince Lionheart BebePod seats (with trays, but without the placemats for the trays that turn them into limes/watermelons). Sort of like this: HYPERLINK "http://comfortfirst.com/p-42434-bebepod-plus-seat-by-prince-lionheart.aspx" http://comfortfirst.com/p-42434-bebepod-plus-seat-by-prince-lionheart.aspx

1 bathring: HYPERLINK "http://www.amazon.com/Juvenile-Solutions-Thermobaby-Bath-Ring/dp/B000ILEOVC" http://www.amazon.com/Juvenile-Solutions-Thermobaby-Bath-Ring/dp/B000ILEOVC

All free, and for pickup in Sunset Park (51st and 4th Ave).

Re: Highly Recommended Nanny

> We are moving as of June 15th and wanted to highly recommend our
> sitter, Dora. Not only has she raised her own children, she's raised
> many other children from birth and can handle almost anything. She
> worked as a nurse when she was younger and her training has proved invaluable
to our family.
> Our little guy Sam was very sick and hospitalized for a week in March.
> She helped nurse him back--and her ideas and treatments set him on a
> quick path to recovery. She basically diagosed his lactose intolerance
> when the doctors missed it, and treated his "chemical burn" diaper
> rash so that it finally healed. She can do wonders and I trust her
> more than anyone I've ever met with my children (maybe even more than
> their grandparents! ) She has boundless energy, a magical way with
> talking to children, she's always a half hour early, she cleans our
> entire apartment each day, does the dishes, folds the laundry...
> We have two VERY active toddler boys and she is able to calm them and
> entertain them at the same time. I can't say enough wonderful things
> about her. Please contact me for references.

Re: ISO: Mesh Crib Bumpers

Thanks, Kirsten & Amy! Actually, someone gave us two little "lovey" blankets
with animal heads and the satin edges as a baby gift, and they are the boys'
absolute favorite things. They sleep with them, it really helps while I'm
transitioning them from co-sleeping into their own cribs (even though Jack wants
a lovey AND his blanket), and they take them along whenever we travel or even
just go for a walk. They are so well-loved that I bought an extra of each one,
just in case.

Re: Childproofing Advice

Hi all,

About 10 minutes ago I had a glimpse into the future and it is a scary place! I
went upstairs for one minute to grab something and left both boys on playmats.
When I came back, they both reminded me that they are 5 months now—Owen had
moved off the mat and onto the floor (no idea how he managed that) and Aidan
rolled over. The both seemed amused and proud and I was terrified. So while I
don't think they are anywhere near crawling, it would appear I can no longer put
off some measures of babyproofing, starting with putting them in a playard if I
leave the room.

So any advice about what I might need and what is just bogus marketing and
unnecessary would be greatly appreciated. We have two flights of stairs and the
thought of spending $50 or $100 per gate for four gates is a bit painful, but
obviously this is not an area to skimp on either.

Thank you so much for any and all advice,

Re: Recommendations for accommodations?

As a general thing, we've had a ton of luck with Embassy Suites. There
a door that can close between the living room space and the bedroom.
There's room in the living room for a Pack-n-Play (and, when they get
older, the couch pulls out into a bed). There are TVs in both the
bedroom and the living room, and rooms come with mini-fridges and
microwaves.

Oh: and there's a daily cook-to-order breakfast included.

Not the cheapest, and they tend to be more in business areas than
vacation spots, depending on your definition of "vacation." But very
handy with twins.

Re: Afraid of the bath

Lauren,
Must admit I am quite relieved to read that someone else is having this problem
and it's not just me (but sorry you have to go thru it at all). EXACT same
issue started with one of my girls at around the same age. Occasionally she
also sets her sister off and then I'm left with 2 toddlers trying to crawl into
my arms/on my head in a state of absolute chaos.

They are now 21 months and it still occurs periodically (but rarely) and I can
deal with it much better now. When I bathe them i always sit on the side of the
bath with my feet in the water so when I see her getting upset I scoop her onto
my lap and continue the bath that way. I calm her by singing, playing with
another toy and when she's relaxed I ask her if she'd rather get out of the bath
altogether or back in. If both get hysterical, I get all the way in the bath
and take them both in my lap for a while until they calm down.

I'm still not sure exactly why she gets so worked up in there but my deductions
so far is because she is coming down with something/getting sick, gets a dog
hair on her hand (we've 2 dogs, you'd think she'd be over this!) or is close to
pooping. It occurred tonight, I calmed her, she nodded when I offered to put
her back in the water and then I couldn't get them out of the bath 15 minutes
later!

She's a shy baby who often runs to me for hugs/reassurance so it's not a huge
stretch to figure why she does this in the bath. Nothing to worry about I don't
think. I just try to enjoy all the hugs because I'm sure in a few years I'll be
lucky to get any at all :)

Re: Air Travel with Toddlers
We flew to California (first time on plane for twins) last month 5+hrs - Megan & Daniel are 3.5 yrs old. They sat in the airplane seats and used the provided seat belts - we had no problems with them in the seats - Carseat were not required on the plane, and I felt that they would be more comfortable in the plane seats.

I sat them next to each other in the window/middle seats and I sat in the aisle seat with my husband accross in the next aisle seat - it worked fine.

We purchased the SafeFit carseat travel bags from Babies R Us. They can be wheeled or carried as a backpack - We loved them. Carseats and Strollers did not count as baggage on JetBlue - so there was no charge to check them.

JetBlue has individual TV's for each seat which helped alot - they kept busy or fell asleep watching TV after the toys/snacks got boring. Take there favorite blanket/pillow/stuffed animal - something to make them feel comfortable enough to fall asleep. We also carried a portable DVD player on the plane just in case things got out of control we could pop a favorite DVD in to calm them down...we never needed it - they were so excited to experience something new - they were fine.

I do suggest that you have something for the boys to suck on or eat for take off and landing to help with the ear pressure. Megan & Daniel were eating cereal at take off and no problem, but didn't want anything for landing and complained that there ears hurt.

We let them get up and walk up/down the aisle a few times if they wanted.

For the airport we let them walk and I used the SafeFit wrist straps to keep them close.

The worst part of the trip was getting through security - we all had to take off our shoes & jackets.
I went through first, then the twins then my husband - (all kids had to be taken out of strollers, the strollers had to be folded and put on the scanning belt (seemed to be a hassle)). We grabbed all our stuff and found a bench to sit on and get everything back together - it was confusing and a hassle, but we made it through.

Best of luck and enjoy your trip !!!!!!

Re: [BBPOTC] question on feeding accessories

i used mostly the hand held blender wand thing because i would just stick it in the bowl or pot or whatever i had made/cooked the food in and not have to dirty another thing. the blade-end of the wand can go in the dishwasher, or just rinse off. i also bought one that is cordless (rechargeable) and made hardly any noise, i think i got it at williams sonoma. even though the kids don't eat purees anymore, i still use it to hide veggies in tomato sauce, hide veggies in eggs, and puree veggies to put in almost anything which will disguise them (meatballs, etc.). I also still use it to make fruit purees to mix with yogurt or put in oatmeal. I think its a good investment for anyone who enjoys cooking. Its true that you don't want to buy anything that is too specific for babyfood making because this phase only lasts 4 or 5 months before they want finger foods.

Re: FS: Beautiful Crib bumpers, skirts and duvets

My friend who is a mother of twins from Manhattan, forwarded me this post that I think some of you might find advantageous:

EXPECTING TWINS?
2 beautiful crib bumpers and crib skirts from Amy Coe. Lavender/pink gingham and one side, tiny florals on the other. The bed skirt is matching pink/lavender gingham. These are from ABC Home and are in perfect condition. Retail for over $300 each. Also have two pink crib size/toddler bed size duvets from The Company Store with a butterfly duvet cover. $150 for the whole lot. Smoke free, pet free home. Pick up UWS

Re: due in august

Congratulations. It looks like you've gotten some excellent advice. I thought
I'd mention a few things that I never seemed to pick up from books but had I
known them, life would have been so much less stressful.

First, if you do end up having a C-section, keep in mind that your milk may not
come in for a couple of days, particularly if you are scheduled for delivery.
The labor process produces milk. If you want to nurse, you still need to nurse,
even if it seems like you are only going through the motions, but you will
probably also have to supplement. If that is the case, don't stress about it.
Once my milk came in (not until the day I came home from the hospital), the
supply was more than fine. Also, there were definitely times that I
supplemented but I was eventually able to nurse almost exclusively while I was
on maternity leave for 3 months (and thereafter, pumped and supplemented with
formula until about 6 months). Feeding both at once never really worked for me.
I only say this to make the point that you need to do what feels right, don't
feel to much pressure to do what you are convinced (or others have told you) is
the "right" thing. One friend of mine has breast-fed all three of her sons by
pumping. She simply doesn't like the feeling of nursing. That's what works for
her. You get the picture.

Second, somewhere in the 4 to 5 week range (if memory serves), my daughters
simply wouldn't stop crying unless they were fed constantly, without a break (or
at least it seemed that way). I was convinced something was wrong with them.
My mother-in-law, who was staying with us at the time, insisted something wasn't
right. I eventually learned that they were probably going through a growth
spurt. This happens at certain intervals. If feeding is all that works, don't
worry about it too much. If I had only known then what I later found out, those
couple of days would have been so much less stressful for all of us, including
my mother-in-law.

As you are already finding out, this listserv is a wonderful resource. Best of
luck to you.

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